Do you need a Boundary Manifesto?
Do you need a Boundary Manifesto?
I’m just going to say it. I’m exhausted. My personal and professional life has blurred so much that I have developed this pattern in the last few months where I work 7 days a week. I keep telling myself I am doing it to keep up or even get ahead on tasks. But after months of doing this I’m not. That’s not cool! I’ve forgotten what fun is. I’m missing people in real life. I’m missing nature and being able to go more than 10km from home. I’m so over screen time, and times a million more over having multiple platforms I can be pinged on. There are too many balls in the air. There is too much change, happening all at once. Too much of a stretch with so many projects with shifting goals posts. And well I’m just worn out. What about you?
Ok, so I’ve got that out. You should try it too.
But, in all seriousness my boundaries have been seriously challenged. I pride myself on good boundaries, but lately not so much. Pandemic, new position, new colleagues, sustained working at home, and shifting expectations on all levels personally, professionally, and in society as Melbourne navigates living with covid rather than trying to control it...well it's become a bit all too much. And what comes with this is a need for some serious boundary attention. A refresh. A seasonal check in as some call it. You might like to join me as well.
I’m asking the questions:
What are your boundaries?
What do you need to reset?
What do you want to reset?
What will you tolerate? Why? And really?
What does not work for you?
What are the signs that you need to reset your boundaries?
What do you know you need to change but you keep on repeating?
What has subtly snuck up on you that requires some attention?
What are you learning about yourself?
Where will this discovery take you?
As I’ve worked through these questions as part of my check-in, I'm forming a Boundary Manifesto for myself. It is a work in progress. Here is what I have so far….
Breakfast is crucial - don’t skip porridge for quick and easy toast. Fuel the brain and the body at the beginning of the day.
Savour the first cup of tea or coffee or juice in the morning.
Take a lunch break away from the computer.
Go outside and walk around the block as mini reset breaks (and PS this is a nice movement activity for your health even if it is slow paced and you are smelling the roses)
Reminder to self when having that break, do not answer the phone.
Resetting on a holiday (or staycation) is not the only form of a break; you need to have mini breaks (sometimes multiple) each day.
Weekends (or non-work time) is your time, reclaim it back.
If someone de-energises you, stop spending time with them.
No is kinder to you than saying yes and pulling out, yes and not delivering, yes and ignoring the deadline, yes and impacting others, yes and feeling guilty, or saying maybe.
Doing someone else’s emotional work is not helpful … on many levels. Stop it.
Self-care is not selfish, it is a part of everyday life, so engage with what energises you and helps you be the best you can.
When you finish the work day, finish the work day, don’t keep on checking email on your phone, taking calls, and texting. Add a full stop to the end of the day as my friend Leesa says.
Set up a sleep routine.
Use your diaphragm or lose it as Chee my acupuncturist says (aka. deep breathing is a must, and often).
You have to over fill your cup in order to help others, otherwise you keep taking away from you which equals depleted and exhausted. That’s not cool.
Make time to laugh, smile and have fun.